


Let It Be Me

by allhailthehutch



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:18:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1933677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allhailthehutch/pseuds/allhailthehutch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I promised Katniss that I would fight for her and for our daughter, but when I wake up sick and barely able to move, I wish my life would end. The only thing I can do is get out of my bed, take my medicine, and try to keep Katniss from worrying about me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let It Be Me

 

 

  

I promised Katniss that I would fight for her and for our daughter, but when I wake up sick and barely able to move, I wish my life would end. The only thing I can do is get out of my bed, take my medicine, and try to keep Katniss from worrying about me.

 

She looks at me sometimes with such desperation that I have to physically turn away because the pain is too much to bear.

 

Gracie is the most perfect baby in the world and I want to fight for her. I hold her for hours when Katniss is sleeping, making sure that I spend as much time as I can with her.

 

It doesn't matter how optimistic I am. There's a possibility that I could die. Honestly, I am dying but I'm trying to give myself more time. Time to watch my little girl reach all the major milestones of her young life.

 

Before I was diagnosed Katniss and I made plans for our future. There is so much that we want to do, but now those dreams are buried. We live our lives day by day, a happy ending well out of reach.

 

I want to live. I want nothing more than to wake up and not have cancer, but life isn't fair. I have to fight to survive, and it's not easy.

 

Katniss isn't doing as well I had hoped. The baby is now two months old and I thought she would be a great distraction for Katniss, but it doesn't seem to be working.

 

She's depressed. Katniss tries to hide it from me, but I can see that she's suffering. She's exhausted from taking care of Gracie and worrying about me.

 

I tell her to not fret about me, but Katniss never listens. She's not sleeping or eating. It's infuriating because she is healthy, but chooses to make herself sick. I know she’s behaving this way because she loves me, but Katniss has never been good at coping with stressful situations.

 

_I come home from work and see Katniss lying on the cold, hard kitchen floor. I drop immediately by her side and check to make sure she is okay._

_"Katniss what's the matter?" I run my thumb along her cheek, but she doesn't respond. She doesn't even blink her eyes. "Jesus, you’re scaring me. Katniss what happened?" I shake her body to see if she will wake up._

_"My dad's dead," she says without emotion. I barely hear her because she speaks so softly. "He had a brain aneurysm and he's dead."_

_I pull her in my lap and she wraps her arms around my neck. "Katniss, I'm so sorry. I - there's nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I'm here for you."_

_"I didn't get to say goodbye."_

_I rub small, comforting circles on her back, but I know it's not helping. Usually, I am good with words but I'm not sure what I could say to make her feel better._

_Is there anything that can make her feel better?_

_"I'm really tired, Peeta." She closes her eyes and snuggles into my chest. I'm not sure how long we sit on the kitchen floor, but I don't move until she's finally sleeping peacefully._

"Peeta why are you still awake?" Her sleepy voice brings me back to reality.

 

"I've just had a lot on my mind." I rub my eyes. Tomorrow we have to meet with Dr. Abernathy about possible treatments and additional testing that needs to be done.

 

Katniss curls up next to me on the couch. "It's going to be fine. You can handle this Peeta."

 

"I'm just so tired, Katniss." I sigh loudly. Our focus should be on Gracie, but instead we have to worry about my illness.

 

She frowns and I know that I'm upsetting her. "You promised me that you would fight, Peeta."

 

"I can't always keep my promises." I know that I'm stepping into dangerous territory, but Katniss needs to face the facts. She needs to prepare for a life without me.

 

"Shut up." Katniss stands up from her spot next to me. She turns her body away for a few moments, and when she turns to face me, her cheeks are wet with tears. "You can't do this, Peeta. You can't tell me one day you will fight and the next give up. It's not fair!"

 

In all the years I've been with Katniss we rarely have gotten into serious arguments, but what she says pushes me over the edge.

 

"It's not fair?" I don't recognize my voice. This isn't a side of myself that I would ever show Katniss, but she has no fucking right to complain about fairness. "I'm sorry that I have cancer and maybe it's hard to always stay positive. Forgive me for being so insensitive to your feelings."

 

Katniss reaches out to comfort me but I take two steps back. "There's nothing you can say to fix this. I need to be alone."

 

Gracie's cries bring our fight to an abrupt stop. "I'm sorry Peeta..."

 

I don't answer her. I'm still so fucking angry. She doesn't deserve it, but I've kept it together for so long that I need to break down.

 

Katniss wipes her tears before she heads up the stairs to comfort our daughter.

 

***

 

Dr. Abernathy infuriates me, but I trust him with my life. His lack of bedside manner can be exhausting, but I figure he's done this long enough that he knows how to treat people with cancer.

 

People who are dying.

 

People like me.

 

Katniss and I have barely spoken since our fight last night. I can see her staring at me from the corner of my eye, but I do my best to ignore her.

 

Gracie sleeps peacefully in my arms while we wait for the doctor. I'm glad my little girl doesn't realize what is going on. She deserves to live in a world without pain.

 

Dr. Abernathy comes into his office without even bothering to greet us.

 

"So, is this the little one?" I haven't seen him since Gracie was born, so I figured might as well bring her along. "She looks like you Mellark but she has your wife's scowl."

 

I can't help but laugh as Katniss shoots him a glare. "I do not scowl."

 

"You are scowling right now," he tells her with a smile. Katniss rolls her eyes which makes him laugh along with me. "Anyway, how are you feeling Peeta?"

 

I sigh. I knew these questions would come up, but I never know how to answer. "I'm okay just tired and weak. The usual."

 

"Well, as we said before you aren't exactly at the point where I was hoping you would be." Dr. Abernathy begins to tell me. "I want to up the dosage of your chemotherapy and be more aggressive. You understand that this isn't going to be easy?"

 

"I've managed so far," I reply as Katniss reaches out to grab my hand. Even though I'm still frustrated, I find her presence comforting. "I assume that side effects will be the same?"

 

He nods. "You are a tough man Peeta, and I know that you have the ability to fight this.”

 

His words do nothing to ease my fears. I've read the statistics, and I know what I'm in for. I promised Katniss that I would fight, and I intend to do just that.

 

"I need to repeat some testing before we go forward," Dr. Abernathy explained.

 

I look over at Katniss who tries to discreetly wipe away her tears. My attention moves back to the doctor.

 

He continues, "We are going to have to do another lumbar puncture.

 

If I didn't feel sick before, I certainly do now. Even though the test bothers me, it's the look on Katniss's face that makes it worse.

 

"He won't have a seizure again will he?" Katniss asks softly.

 

I don't remember much about the seizure that I had, but the doctors said it lasted for over a minute.

 

"Peeta's seizure was caused from an extremely high fever. I don't believe the procedure caused it. He's in good hands, Katniss," Dr. Abernathy assures her with a comforting smile.

 

The rest of the visit is a blur. I know what I have to do and what's going to happen to my body, but I still can't prepare my mind for the pain that I'm going to put Katniss through.

 

***

 

Katniss gives a soft kiss on my forehead before Dr. Abernathy enters the exam room. I don't think I will ever get use to the sterile smell within these white walls.

 

The iodine makes me shiver when it's applied to my lower back.

 

"Alright, so you will feel some pressure and then it's over."

 

It's almost funny how doctors explain procedures. They try to ease your anxiety by acting like it's not going to hurt or that it will only take a few minutes.

 

You can't sugarcoat a giant needle being inserted into your spine.

 

I look at Katniss and she appears unaffected, but that's how she copes. I know that this is killing her. She can't hide what's she's feeling from me.

 

_You can never really prepare yourself for a funeral. I've been to a few in my life and they are always awful._

_Katniss hasn't let go of my hand since we arrived at the church._

_"You don't have to go in Katniss." We've been sitting in my car for the past half hour. She doesn't have the strength to go inside. "It's okay if you aren't ready."_

_She nods wordlessly. Her attention focuses on the building that she's terrified of. "If I go in there that means he's really gone."_

_"He may not be here physically, but you will always have your memories." I hate seeing her this way. She hasn't eaten or slept in days. "You don't have to do this alone. I'm always here for you. I love you."_

_"I love you more." I see a hint of a smile appearing on her lips._

_I kiss her forehead. "If you say so."_

 

The removing of the needle brings me back from my memories. It wasn't as bad as I remember.

 

"That wasn't so bad, doc." I tell him with a smirk. As he applies the bandage he rolls his eyes.

 

"Get some rest and I'll see you in a few days."

 

****

 

My eyes water and my throat burns as I vomit up my dinner from last night. Katniss sits behind me, rubbing my back and applying a cold rag to my neck.

 

"It's okay, Peeta."

 

As another wave of nausea hits me, Gracie starts to cry. Katniss looks at me and then at the baby monitor. She doesn't want to leave me, but the baby is more important.

 

"Just go, okay. I'll be fine." I rest my head against the cold porcelain, knowing I'm going to be here for awhile.

 

Dr. Abernathy wasn't kidding when he told me how difficult this was going to be. The dose of my chemo increased and the side effects have worsened as well.

 

Stupidly enough, what made me cry was the moment I pulled out my first chunk of hair. I knew it was coming, but it shocked me nonetheless.

 

I've been wearing this beanie and it just makes it that more obvious that I have cancer. People stare at me, and I see the pity in their eyes. I don't need them to feel bad for me.

***

 

"How are you feeling, Peet?" Finnick looks at me sadly, and I know it's partly my fault. I've distanced myself from all my close friends. Apparently, Finnick has had enough of me avoiding him. He shows up on my front porch with video games and snacks.

 

"I have cancer. How do you think I feel?" I don't mean to snap at him but I'm sick and tired of people asking me how I feel.

 

I feel shitty.

 

"Well, excuse me," Finnick says while throwing his hands up in the air . He lightly shoves me aside and walks through the door. "Maybe I wasn't asking about your cancer. Maybe I wanted to know how you feel being a new dad and all."

 

Any mention of Gracie and I suddenly feel at peace. "Man, she's perfect. I love her so much. You and Annie need to get on that. I'm telling you - she makes my days so much better."

 

"She's beautiful." Finnick squeezes my shoulder and flops on the couch. "Now tell me what is it with the beanie? You never wear hats."

 

I sigh as I take off the hat and show Finnick that my hair is falling out. "The higher dose of chemo is making me lose my hair."

 

"I have an idea." Finnick jumps up from his spot on the sofa. "I'll shave the rest of it off and then you can do the same for me."

 

I don't know why, but the urge to cry hits me instantly. "You are going to shave your head for me?"

 

"Peet, I can't have you looking better than me," he says with a smile. "Now, are we going to do this or what?"

 

***

 

When Katniss walks in the bathroom and sees me shaving Finnick's head, the first thing she does is laugh.

 

It feels so fucking good to hear her laugh again.

 

"What is going on here?" She asks me the question but Finnick answers first.

 

"Peeta's losing his hair and I say fuck it - we can both have shaved heads. I look better in hats, anyway."

 

Katniss pulls Finnick into a tight hug and I can see he's a little taken back by it. When she pulls away, tears stream down her face. "I just - thank you, Finnick."

 

I look in the mirror and while I may not exactly look like the old me, I start to feel like him. "We may need to get me some more hats."

 

Katniss nods tearfully. "I'm gonna go feed Gracie and then put her down for a nap. You two have fun."

 

She gives me a quick kiss on the lips before leaving. I long for more, but I know it's not possible. Even if I was actually able to, Katniss and I can't do anything for another couple of weeks which is extremely frustrating, but I try not to focus on it as much anymore. There are worse things than not being able to have sex with your wife.

 

"Do you think Annie will like my new hairdo or lack thereof?" Finnick asks while running a hand over his now smooth head.

 

"I think she's gonna love it."

 

***

 

The piercing screams do nothing to help ease the unbearable pain in my head. I woke up with a shooting pain that's been making me vomit all morning.

Katniss tries to keep the baby quiet but I'm getting more and more irritated. She knows I had chemo yesterday and that it's been kicking my ass.

 

The crying is intensifying. I use all the strength I have to climb out of bed and make my way to Gracie's nursery.

 

Katniss paces the room with the baby clinging to her chest. Gracie's cries make me stop dead in my tracks with pain.

 

"Katniss, please! I need to sleep and I feel awful..."

 

She whips her head around and I see that she's crying. "I'm doing my best, Peeta. Her tummy is upset, and I can't get her to stop crying!"

 

I instantly feel awful. How could I be so selfish?

 

"Give her to me." I hold out my arms but Katniss is reluctant. "It's okay ... I can handle it. Go take a walk."

 

She slowly hands Gracie over to me and I take a deep breath. Feeling weak, I decide to sit in the rocking chair. "Hey baby what's got you so upset?"

 

Her little hands clench as she continues to cry. "I'm sorry that I haven't been the best dad in the world, but I'm trying really hard."

 

I hate that Katniss has had to take on so much responsibility. Some days I feel useless and I can see that she's beyond frustrated, but Katniss won't ever tell me that.

 

"I'm sorry you don't feel good." Her crying is slowly stopping and the dull ache in my head begins to fade. "If I could take away all your pain I would do it ."

 

Gracie looks up at me with her big, blue eyes and I swear I see her give me a smile. I close my eyes and let her lay on my chest. We both sleep till Katniss has to come in and wake us up.

 

***

 

It's my birthday. I never really cared to celebrate them before, but this year is different. It's possible that it could be my last birthday.

 

 

I promised Katniss that I wouldn't think that way, but it's not easy when you aren't guaranteed another year.

 

"Happy Birthday, Peeta." Her hot breath tickles my neck. I look over, and I can't believe how beautiful she really is. The morning sun shines in our bedroom and it must have woken her up. "How does it feel to be twenty seven?"

 

"I think you need to get me a cane," I tell her jokingly. Katniss playfully punches my shoulder. "Can we just spend the whole day in bed?"

 

Katniss sighs. "That's not a fun way to spend your birthday!"

 

"All I need is you and Gracie. That's the best gift in the world." I run my hand through her hair, loving the feeling of her soft hair.

 

She leans over and kisses me. I grab her waist and pull her tiny body on top of mine. A soft moan escapes her lips before she's kissing me again.

 

Her tongue parts my lips and I actually feel lightheaded at the sensation. We haven't been this close in a while.

 

I run my hands down her back until I'm squeezing her perfect ass. We can't do anything, but feeling her body on top of mine sets me on fire.

 

"Peeta, I want you so bad." She tells me in a breathy moan.

 

I buck my hips up, trying to get some physical reaction but nothing is happening. Katniss feels me tense and pulls away. "Hey, don't think so much - just be here with me."

 

She massages my shoulders, shushing me, making me feel more at ease. Her touch has a calming effect on me. Katniss and I have spent hours in the past discovering each other’s bodies, and I can still remember the first time I ever touched her intimately.

_I'm growing so hard that I think I'm going to explode. Katniss keeps grinding down on my crotch and if she doesn't stop, I'm pretty sure I'm going to come in pants._

_"Peeta I want you to touch me." Katniss takes my hand and places it under her shirt. The soft skin of her stomach warms my cold hands._

_Katniss looks at me nervously for a couple of seconds before she pulls her shirt over her head. The way her teeth tug on her bottom lip is so sexy. This is the first time we've done anything like this._

_"You are so beautiful," I tell her with a smile. Really, she's so incredibly gorgeous I can't believe that she likes me this way._

_I reach up to touch her breasts, moving slowly enough so that Katniss can stop me if I'm going too far. I give them a squeeze, closing my eyes as I savor the feeling of her in my grip._

_My thumb finds her nipple, already pebbling under her black lace. I'm not sure what makes me do it, but I pull back on the flimsy fabric, releasing her supple breast from its confines. My mouth attaches immediately on her swollen flesh as I flick my tongue over her nipple._

_"Oh Peeta!" The sounds coming from her are new. I haven't felt her breathing this rapidly before._

_I want more though. I need to know what she feels like. "Katniss - can I?" My fingers rest near the zipper of her jeans._

_She gives me a timid nod, and I slowly unzip her jeans. Katniss shimmies out of them and soon she's only in her panties._

_Katniss on my lap in her bra and panties is a sight to behold. She covers herself, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "You need to undress too. That's the rules."_

_I don't argue with her. In less than a minute, I'm down to my briefs and feeling a little self conscious. Her eyes widen at the sight of my erection pushing against the tight cotton._

_She's nervous and so am I, but there is no one in this world I would rather be with. I use my finger and carefully massage her over her black silky panties. I feel dampness seep through to my fingers as my aching cock fights against the fabric now._

_Katniss closes her eyes as I continue to rub her with my fingers. My thumb finds a spot that actually causes her to yelp at the contact. "Oh god...Peeta."_

_I draw slow circles in the same area and watch her reaction. She seems to be enjoying it. As I continue to tease her with my thumb, I slowly move my finger inside her panties._

_I explore what she's been hiding between her legs. We're made so differently, but I'm glad for it. My curious fingers enter her wet cavern._

_"Peeta - please keep going!" Her own hands grab at her breasts, and I'm surprised I haven't come yet._

_I insert another finger and Katniss moans even louder. She must be enjoying all this since I recognize a smile gracing her lips between her vocalizations._

_"Oh god - Peeta I'm coming!" I feel her walls clench around my fingers and can't take my eyes off of her. Her back arches off my bed and she makes the most incredible noises._

_After a minute she comes down from her high and looks at me. I'm in physical pain at this point, but I'm not going to make her do anything she isn't comfortable with._

_Katniss grabs my cock with her hand but doesn't make any movements. "What, er...how do you like it?" She asks me with a sly grin._

_Fuck me. "Just move your hand up and down. Grip it real good."_

_She does what I tell her and she starts stroking me with her hand. Honestly, I have a good thirty seconds before I'm going to come. The buildup to this has been too much._

_Katniss picks up her speed and that's all it takes before my balls are tightening and my toes are curling. "Shit Katniss. I'm coming!"_

_I watch as my cum spurts out and gets all over her hand. She doesn't stop stroking me till I'm finished._

_"That was - wow." I say as I give her a tissue._

_"Yeah it was."_

It doesn't matter how many times she tells me that it's okay, I still hate that I can't give her what she wants.

 

"I'm going to go give Gracie a bath. You rest today." Katniss kisses my forehead before getting out of a bed. "Happy Birthday. I love you."

 

***

 

The beeping of the heart monitor makes it impossible to sleep. Honestly, I didn't plan on spending my birthday in the hospital but my body seemed to have other ideas.

 

I don't remember much. All I know is that I suddenly got a terrible pain in my head and I passed out. That wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't crack my head open on the bathroom sink as I went down.

 

Katniss apparently heard the noise and found me lying in a giant puddle of my own blood.

 

That's why I'm spending the night in this hospital bed instead of at home with my wife. I had to beg her to go home and get some sleep. Katniss wanted to stay here with me but I refused.

 

Honestly, I need some time to think. I need to plan a future for Katniss without me in it.

 

"Hopefully that doesn't leave a scar." I'm surprised to see Dr. Abernathy standing in the doorway. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Like I hit my head and almost bled to death." I say without cracking a smile.

 

He slumps down in the chair next to the bed and rubs his eyes. "I'm surprised the wife isn't here."

 

"I needed some alone time." I admit to him.

 

Dr. Abernathy chuckles. "You don't get much alone time in a hospital, but whatever."

 

"So why exactly are you here?" I'm slightly irritated and don't feel up for small talk. "Did you get my bloodwork back already?"

 

"Still waiting, but I wanted to see how you are doing." I can see that he's trying to be supportive, which is weird because it's not like him.

 

"I'm just fine."

 

He cocks an eyebrow. Obviously, I'm not very convincing. "I see. You are feeling fine..."

 

"What do you want me to say?" I ask him angrily. "I have fucking cancer and you can't make it go away!"

 

Dr. Abernathy says nothing, which only fuels my rage. "Jesus, I have this amazing wife and beautiful baby waiting for me at home, but there is going to come a day when I'm not going to be there." I choke back my sobs before continuing. "Dying doesn't scare me. It's leaving them alone in this world. It's the thought that my baby girl won't ever know how much I Iove her."

 

"Peeta, you're not going to die."

 

"Don't you dare give me false hope I can't -"

 

The last thing I need to hear is that if I have the strength and willpower, that I'll beat this cancer.

 

"Listen to me for a second," Dr Abernathy counters. I've never seen him like this, but I don't say another word. "We got your bloodwork back and I feel confident enough to say that you are in remission."

 

I can't breathe. This has to be some type of dream. He's lying to me.

 

"All your levels look really good, Peeta."

 

"But the headaches?" How can I be better with the pain in my head.

 

He simply smiles at me. "You're dehydrated. I assume you've been stressed and not taking care of yourself."

 

"Are you being serious? I'm not .. I'm going to be okay?"

 

"You are still gonna need to go through maintenance therapy to make sure that it doesn't come back, but I'm pretty confident that you are in the clear."

 

I pull him into a hug and I'm surprised when he returns it. I cry until there are no tears left.

 

I woke up this morning with the intention of planning a life for my wife and child without me, but now I'm remembering what it feels like to have a future.

 

I can't wait to tell Katniss.

 

****

 

When Katniss comes to pick me up from the hospital I desperately want to tell her, but I decide to wait till the moment is right.

 

She looks at me with such worry that I can't wait till I finally see her face happy and relaxed.

 

When we get home after Gracie is settled in her crib, Katniss helps get me comfortable in our bed.

 

"Will you stay here with me for awhile?" I grab her hand, hoping that she will agree.

 

Katniss smiles and curls up next to me. She lays her head on my chest and looks up at me. "Always."

 

"I need to talk to you about something." I can't believe that I am getting the chance to say these words.

 

"Is everything alright?" Katniss asks as tears build up in my eyes. "Peeta, what's going on?"

 

"Katniss, I'm in remission." Every time I say it I still can't believe it's true. "Dr. Abernathy came to see me when I was in the hospital and he said that my levels are great. I still need to have maintenance therapy, but I'm in remission."

 

Suddenly, her hands are roaming every inch of my body. She grabs the sides of my face, pulling me in for a heated kiss. We are sloppy and quick, not caring about anything but each other. I groan when I feel her tongue part my lips.

 

Katniss straddles my waist and grinds down on my crotch. I buck my hips in response, wanting nothing more than to show her how badly I want and need her. Even if I can't be with her physically Katniss needs to know that having her so close feels amazingly good.

 

She gasps and I pull away, afraid that I've hurt her. "What's wrong? Are you okay?!"

 

"Peeta.. you..." I look down and realize that I'm hard. Her hand slips underneath my pajama bottoms and grabs my cock. "It's been six weeks you know..."

 

I don't need to hear anything more before she's pinned underneath me. I thrust my hips so that she can feel how hard I am.

 

"God I want you so bad." There is nothing I want more than to bury myself deep inside of her and slowly fuck her till she's begging me to let her come.

 

I slide my hand down her panties so that I can feel how wet she is. My fingers slide easily into her wetness and Katniss groans loudly. "Peeta - I - you feel so good."

 

I massage her folds and draw circles on her clit. My movements are achingly slow. I want to remember every minute I spend touching her. The way her chest rises and falls with each thrust of my fingers, or how she bites her bottom lip when I push down on her clit.

 

She's close. I can tell by how her stomach muscles clench and her toes curl. Katniss opens her eyes when my mouth finds that spot behind her ear that makes her entire body shiver. I kiss and suck at her neck, knowing that it will leave a bruise. She needs to know how badly I want her and that I've missed her body more than anything. "Peeta - I'm going to come!"        

 

She clenches around my finger and I feel a gush of wetness coat my fingers. "You are so beautiful Katniss - come from me!"

 

"Oh! Peeta!"

 

I can't wait any longer. It feels like it's been since we've been together. Truthfully, it has been. "I need to be inside of you." I tell her as she helps slide down my pants.

 

It only takes us a few moments before we are both fully naked. I take in the sight of her body, slightly changed from being pregnant and having a baby just a few months ago. Her breasts are a bit larger and her stomach isn't as flat as it use to be, but I don't even care. Katniss is more sexy to me now than she's ever been. Something about knowing that she carried our baby inside of her.

 

Her hands explore every inch of my body. She kisses my bruises gently. I'm still thinner than I want to be, but slowly my body is becoming normal again.

 

When her hands reach my neck I realize that the curls she always threads her fingers through are gone. Katniss always knows what I'm thinking though and she quickly reassures me why it doesn't matter. "It'll grow back, Peeta."

 

We both tremble as I position myself at her entrance. Making sure Katniss is fully satisfied has always been my important to me. Feeling her and seeing the reaction of her orgasm make everything so much better. I want to give her that, but my body is still weak. Right now, all I need is to be completely encased in her warmth, with her legs wrapped around my waist as she claws at my back. "I won't last long." I say nervously.

 

 

Katniss places her hand on my cheek and smiles. "I don't care."

 

She kisses me as I slowly push inside. When just the tip is has entered I'm almost sure that won't be able to move. She feels amazing.

 

"Just go slow, okay?"' She reassures me.

 

I can't hold back my moan when I'm fully inside of her. We stay connected but unmoving for a couple of minutes. I'm afraid that if I move my hips just a little that this will all be a dream.

 

Katniss can sense my apprehension so she starts moving her hips in circles. "Peeta it's going to be okay. We are going to be okay."

 

Pushing my fear aside, I start moving slowly. It's the be most amazing feeling in the entire world. Finally being able to move inside of my wife. I feel my orgasm building. "Oh Katniss.. I've missed you so much... You feel so good."

 

There were days when I thought I would never get to feel my wife again, but as our bodies move together in our familiar rhythm, none of that even matters.

 

I can barely catch my breath when her walls clench around me. Every time her muscles contract and squeeze my cock, the closer I am to finally coming. Katniss tilts her hips up so that I'm able to push myself deeper. Her fingers dig into my back when I slide all the way out and then thrust back into her quickly. I've been in this position hundreds of times with Katniss, but this time it's different. I'm giving everything I have because for so long I thought my time with her was limited. Her warmth hypnotizes me.

 

"I'm gonna come .. I.." I try to hold back, but I can't. My thrusts slow as I come in fast, hot spurts. "Shit... Katniss...shit!"

 

I collapse on top of her for a moment before I realize I’m crushing her. Katniss smiles through her tears and I'm pretty sure that I'm crying again too. My entire body feels like jello. I'm still shaking when Katniss presses her naked body up against mine. I feel whole.

 

It takes me awhile to slow my breathing. I'm also a lot more tired than in the past. I can feel my eyes closing, but I force them open. Suddenly, I remember that I have all the time in the world to watch Katniss fall asleep in my arms.

 

"I love you so much." I tell her with a kiss on the forehead.

 

"I love you more."

 

I take a deep breath before I reply, realizing that time may now finally be in my favor.

 

"If you say so."


End file.
